YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
