Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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