marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
