Its about making memories worth repressing
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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