no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
