That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
