We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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