I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
