Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
