they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I need moral support for this bender
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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