Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
