I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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