its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
