Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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