Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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