too bad you live with your parents still
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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