I only kidnapped one of them. chill
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
