Will you blow on my dice?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
