FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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