Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
