It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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