I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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