Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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