Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
