im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
