He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
