you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
