Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Best friends brother. Beat that.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
