yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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