I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
