He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
