You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize