next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I want a musical about memes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
