college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
