She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he fucked my hip out of place.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
