I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
