You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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