My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
