thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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