I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
