If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
