so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
