nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
