I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
