haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
