just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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