based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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