i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
