Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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