I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We left the knife in your bed.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
