Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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