U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
