I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
