I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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