i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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