Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
