Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
