Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize