Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize