I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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