maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
