Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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