i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
