just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
