Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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