pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
