i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
