oh god the rape fog is back!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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