i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
