Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
