dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
