nut hugger
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
