My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
