Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
